Monday, 30 April 2007

Closer to You.

Loving you madly will be forever.
I see the ocean in your eyes when we're together.
There are no boundaries. There are no limits.
My heart has been embraced now that you're in it.

Hold me closer to your dreams.
Closer to your fears. Close to hear your laughter.
Hold me when you're close to tears.

Time passes by, seconds into minutes.
Every field and flower fades but love is infinite.
There are no boundaries. There are no limits.
My heart's a bigger place now that you're in it.

Hold me closer to your dreams.
Closer to your fears. Close to hear your laughter.
Hold me when you're close to tears.
I wanna be the one you tell your secrets to.
All I want is to be closer. Closer to you.

How tight can you hold me?
How long can we stay awake?
How hard can we laugh?
How much love can we make?

Hold me close to your dreams.
Closer to your fears. Close to hear your laughter.
Hold me when you're close to tears.
I wanna be the one you tell your secrets to.
All I want is to be closer. Closer to you.

Let me step closer into you,

I just wanna get closer.

I just wanna ease your pain.

I hate to see you in such a state,

whereby you are not yourself anymore.

Let me get closer to you.

I wish God would light my way,

to your heart.







Ice Cream.

Your love is better than ice cream
Better than anything else that Ive tried
And your love is better than ice cream
Everyone here know how to fight



And its a long way down
Its a long way down
Its a long way down to the place
Where we started from



Your love is better than chocolate
Better than anything else that Ive tried
Oh love is better than chocolate
Everyone here knows how to cry



Its a long way down
Its a long way down
Its a long way down to the place
Where we started from...






Your love is really better than ice cream,

Your love is sweet and bitter like chocolate,

Your love to me is complicated.

It's enjoyable, yet, brings jealousy.

I find it hard to erase you,

cause your love is better than anything else that I've tried.

Sunday, 29 April 2007

To be heartless.

I've lived on this earth for 18 years.
My birthday marked my existence in this world.
In this world, a space where many different creatures,
living together.
Humans might be the wisest creatures.
But, as years go by, years by years,
humans started to lose the human touch?
We are so busy with what we ought to do.
Not busy with what we love to do.
We are becoming more and more like robots,
heartless, more selfish.
I think I will be heartless too.
I will be, one day.
When I can't take all these problems anymore.
When I can't sense,
can't feel.
I should have just forgotten all of them.
Should have just been carefree.
Why should I love?
Why should I have empathy?
Sympathy?
All are just emotions.
Emotions and feelings make me weak.
Should I choose to be heartless?
If I am heartless, I will be strong right?
I'm sick of being loved, sick of loving,
sick of being hurted, sick of hurting,
sick of being cared, sick of caring.
Oh well.
I'm sick of everything.
How I wish I could just sleep,
and forget everything.
I wish I could live in a place,
a place named paradise,
where people are doing what they want,
where the grass is green,
and my loved ones are there,
loving me, and being loved.
If, one day, God shows me the road,
to the place that I wanna be,
I will choose to have emotions, feelings, senses,
and I swear I don't wanna be heartless.






I'm still waiting for you,

even though I know you've gone,

I am partly forgotten.

Almost fully replaced.

Oh well.

Honey, I ain't a substitute.

So I shall start to forget you too.


Friday, 27 April 2007

Letting you go.

When you let me go,
it's clear, that I,
was indeed chained.
Now that I'm free,
you're already tied up,
tightly.
So tight that even I,
am quite sure,
that it's impossible,
to cut it off.
Letting you go,
may seem to be,
the most realistic way out.
I mean,
it's feasible, manageable.
Why not I try?
Try to let you go.
Since, if you're mine,
you'll come back.
Letting you go,
will make me cold,
I expect.
But then,
do I have a choice?
I don't think so.
So I shall just try letting you go.
Let you go to where you should be.
Where you'd be happy and,
keep on smiling,
all the way.








Let's go to the park.

I wanna kiss you underneath the stars.

Maybe we'll go too far.

We just don't care,

We just don't care,

We just don't care.

You know I love you when you're loving me.

Sometimes it's better when it's publicly.

I'm not ashamed, I don't care who sees,

Us hugging and kissing our love exhibition all.

Thursday, 26 April 2007

Happy birthday to you.

Yes. Happy birthday to you.
Today's your day.
Birthday cards, expensive gifts, grand party, lavish treat.
Just name it.
You can have everything you want.
Even a person like me.
I was yours, once.
Completely.
Are you a casanova too?
Now, I am not yours anymore.
I am an independent girl.
So what are you doing today?
I wonder.
Are you laughing or mourning?
Are you satisfied with what you have?
Have you smiled today?
Are you still as empty as ever?
Should I just leave you on your own, or
should I just welcome you,
with arms wide open?
Somehow, I've been walking away from you.
Since the day we had a fight.
I've changed,
My impression of you have changed too.
I just want to say, happy birthday.






Roses need water to keep on living,

I need love and care so I will not give up.

I also need to be spoiled sometimes,

so I will bloom.

I love my time being with you.

Thanks for everything.




Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Incomplete.

I was born with nothing,
no silver spoon.
I grew up having all my friends around,
but still, they'd left me for something better.
Since whenever you say 'hello', you will say 'goodbye',
sooner or later.
Then I had a partner named boyfriend,
who eventually would be my husband.
He would then, be able to feed my emotional hunger.
He would also be able to make me feel secure.
He would always stay with me, till the his last day on this earth.
Somehow, life is a cycle, and
you will never feel complete.
You'll always be incomplete, unless,
you set yourself free of temptations, emotions, and desires.


Sleeping in your arms makes me forget my problems.

You make me feel loved and needed.

I feel safe whenever I'm with you.

You're my everything baby.

You're the reason why I am still living this life.

Monday, 23 April 2007

Memories.

Time has passed by so quickly these days,
more and more quickly as I am growing older.
Memories have been created,
since the day I opened my eyes,
since the day I had my first cry.
Memories, be it sweet, or sour, have always been created.
None are meant to be forgotten.
In fact, none of them can be forgotten.
Some are meant to be shelved,
kept tightly in a space, deep in my heart,
buried.
I take it out sometimes, to reminisce the past,
like a flashback, I seem to remember all those tragedies,
to the core, the details.
Painful.
Leaving so many cuts,
some are deep, some are just minor cuts.
A few managed to be nursed,
the rest,
remained there, until now.
Somehow, God is fair.
He let me have a lot of sweet memories as well.
The memories which make me smile, widely indeed.
Somehow sweet memories have made the other side of myself,
sleep peacefully.
The weak and sorrowful, has been sleeping until now.
I somehow don't want her to wake up, ever again.
The most unforgettable memories until now are my memories,
of us, you and I.
The days where we did spend our days with smiles, laughter, joys.
The days we did fight, just because of small things.
They are indeed memorable.
But those days are gone.
And you are an influential man, I admit,
the one who has made the deepest cut in my heart.
The cut itself has healed, as time goes by.
But the scar, will always be there.
And now,
when I have shelved the memories,
you made a come back.
I ain't the girl that you met in the past.
I have changed, to a tougher one, of course.
And colder than before.
I've let you go, that's it.
You're just a part of my memories now.
Not a part of my life, anymore.








My memories of you, have been buried,

along with all other painful ones.

Hope that my memories of you will remain sleeping down under,

forever, for all time.

I've let you go, and I don't care,

even though your ghost is still haunting me.

You will be forgotten,

as I walk along.

And there will be a day, for someone to take over your place.

Saturday, 21 April 2007

A rather meaningful Saturday.

I opened up my eyes and rose pretty early,
was prepared to go back to my Alma mater.
Met up with all my classmates,
all of us have changed I guess.
We're all in different school uniforms,
I still remember the good old days,
where all of us shared the same uniform.
I still remember the days,
where we used to go out after skipping cca.
We shared a lot today.
I am somehow separated with all my besties.
One has moved to Hawaii.
Another one has moved to Sydney.
And now, another one is going to somewhere in the States.
I miss them a lot.
Missed those times when we just went out to chill and lounge.
Missed those shopping trips.
I wanna see you guys again.
After a short meeting with them, I went home.
Went home and spent hours in front of my laptop,
doing homework. LOL.
At least I've finished my GP homework.
Went to borders after that.
Bought a comic and a pretty nice note book.
Before that I went to have a bowl of prawn noodle with Chelle.
She claimed that she had stomachache yet she still yearned for it. Haha.
So we went to eat together at somewhere near my house.
Pardon me for my crappy post for today.
I just couldn't write something meaningful today.
I'll post quality post when I have inspiration then.
Thats the end of my post today.

A touch, was that all you need?

Or did I yearn for it?

Was it love? Wast it lust?

I couldn't figure it out.

But I admit, you're unforgettable.

Friday, 20 April 2007

I am who I am.

Who am I?
This may be the toughest question in my life.
How to define myself?
Well, it depends.
What people see may not be my what I am.
I may be putting on a mask all the time when they see me.
Some think that I lead the life of a princess.
Some think that I live like a socialite, so proud of what I have.
Some may think that I am just a loser, a creature that,
doesn't even deserve to live in this world.
Some may think I am heartless, as cold as the icebergs in Antartica.
I am who I am.
I don't really care what people think of me, personally.
Since, people in general don't understand me much.
There are some who know me to the core.
They're the special ones.
Cause I will always be what I am, when I am with them.
The issue of who am I, until now,
I still haven't found out the answer yet.
I still haven't found out my purpose in life.
I guess I am still in a journey of perfection.
I am not fixed yet.
Since I am shaped by my surroundings.
My bad past somehow has made me stronger.
Even though the pain will remain there, forever.
Till the death come and fetch me.
I hope I will change for better.
I hope I will be wiser as I grow older.
I hope I will be less heartless.
I hope I will be able to define who I am, when the time comes.
I am who I am.



I feel so empty.

I long to be loved.

I long to be heard.

I just want to have someone to lean on.

Someone who will always be there, for me.

Someone who will be the reason why I keep on living this life.

Someone who will take off my mask.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

The road not taken.

You and I, very similar inside.
Each of us, had a great void in our heart.
You filled mine, I filled yours,
with love.
I could feel the warmth of your love.
As we walked on,
you changed.
You became colder,
colder than ever.
My heart became an iceberg,
as a consequence.
Then we separated.
You asked me to come along with you,
but I just walked on the path I chose.
And I left, you left.
The road you walked on,
the road not taken, by me.
I wondered how different would it be,
if I have come along with you.
Does it still matter now,
when you are now,
yearning for my presence,
ONCE AGAIN?
Will you ever melt my heart?








Why did you come back to me,

when I have started to erase you from my mind?

I've told you firmly before that once you've hurted me,

the scar will stay there, forever.

You've torn me up into pieces before.

Will you ever get me back?

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

My dear friend.

My dear friend, that's how I address you.
Since darling is too mushy, say you.
I don't really know you, at first.
The closer I get to you,
the more you make me see.
You're not as simple as what I know,
on the surface.
You're a pretty nice guy,
till some just take you for granted.
You're too nice, I feel.
Since I'm very picky in choosing,
whom I want to be with.
You're one of them that I always want to be with,
as I am always what I am,
when I am with you.
I've opened up myself to you,
it's you, who seem to be hiding from me.
Do share with me the burdens.
Two heads are always better than one.
I don't want to see you,
like now, having some crisis?
You seem to be hurting yourself,
without you realizing it.
My dear friend,
maybe it's my fault too,
cause sometimes I've said too much, and you just listen.
Leaving no time for you to speak up,
what's on your mind.
Do tell me when to stop,
and I'll stop and listen.
Since I'm just a human, not a superwoman.
Hope that you won't get hurt any further.
Since I will feel painful too.
Wish that you smile more, and still be yourself.
Cause I LOVE YOU.


You are mine, once.

I've let you go, and you come back to me.

You cherished me in an unusual way.

I loved you once.

But will I be able to love you once again?

Once my heart is wounded, the wound will be there forever.


Saturday, 14 April 2007

Babes day out!

This morning I was pretty annoyed with my roomie.
Both of us woke up around 8. She was on the computer since then.
Then I went to sleep again till 9. I was about to bathe and she stopped me.
And she said, "Rose, let me bathe 1st, I gotta go to work by 10."
And I just nodded and sighed cause I had tuition at 11.
She's a moron. She woke up at 8 and she only went to bathe after I woke up and I needed to shower.
In the afternoon, situation was getting better as I went out for tuition and met up with my cousins for lunch.
Spent my afternoon at my cousins' home watching "Pursuit of Happiness".
Late afternoon I went out to meet my babes; Gracia, Pei Li, Geraldine, and Santi.
I spend hours at Mango. Lols.
Was so deeply in love with this cocktail dress.
It was a damn nice dress with tulip all around it.
It was a pretty dress for Summer.
I am thinking of getting it by tomorrow. :P
Had dinner and crapped with them.
Babes day out was fun!=)
We shall go out again one day.
Shopping, crapping, dining. Lols.
Reached home by 9plus.
A rather well spent day though.
Time to get back to work now. :P
Love,
Rosey







I could never sleep alone,

without you by my side.

You're my light,

when I'm in the dark.

You're always there,

when I'm in need.

I'm glad to have you by my side,

all the way.

Friday, 13 April 2007

I love roses.

Today I received a pink rose from my babes, Natasha and Gracia.
Thanks to both of you. You've made me walk around with a rose.
For the whole day. But I loved that. Hahahaha. Showed off to the world that
there are people who love me. Despite the fact that I'm single.
But who cares anyway. P.S. My eye candy stared at my pink flower,
for a while.
Next, the crappy econs test.
Actually econs test today was a SIMPLE one. REALLY SIMPLE.
I just didn't have enough time to write.
I had all the concepts in my mind. :(
Since it was just counted as an assignment, I couldn't care less.
In addition, some girls didn't even write a page for the 25marks essay.
Although I've read my econs notes all the way starting from chapel.
Nvm, let bygones be bygones.
In the afternoon, me and my darlings went to serene centre.
We had nice ice-cream there at Island Creamery.
Yee ling took some pictures during the outing.
We tried some new flavours like 'teh peng' flavour? Hahahaha.
After that then I just went home. Actually I didn't know how to go home from there.
Luckily, although it's 13th (hahahahaha), I still met a nice NJCian who helped me to find my way to the bus-stop. LOL.
After the whole events I just stayed at home.
Just slacking and reading magazines. Hahahaha.
Thats all for today.
Love,
Rosey.





Rosey love roses.=)











I am so thankful to have you by my side.

You're just an extraordinary one.

You're a rare gem.

I'll treasure you.

I'll cherish you for being who you are, when you are with me.

I've set you free but you're still hanging around me.

What does that mean?

Thursday, 12 April 2007

Sweet 18th Birthday!

Today was a great day for me.
Although there was no party, no song.
I was somehow pretty contented with what I had today.
Received a card from my civics tutor. It was a cute one indeed.
Received a gift from my brother as usual.
Another gift was the extension of the deadline of the lit assignment.
However, in the later part of the day, I was kinda pissed off with.
Some girl in my group. She just didn't really know how to get her ideas across.
I guess. So I just let it be.
As for econs test tmr, I only REVISED! I didn't MUG.
I don't really care bout it as I have to prioritize my project work and research paper on top of it.
Bored. Now I'm still blogging. LOL.
Just couldn't help it.
Just wanna tell the whole world that I'm OFFICIALLY 18. Woo Hoo!
That's some events for today! Hahahaha.
Love,
Rosey.




I think I'm still in love with you.
But then I think it's more of lust than love.
Maybe I just have to let you go.
And I'll just wait for the one,
to come in front of me,
to complete me, to fill the great void in me.

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Pointless nostalgia.

You are one of the better ones I ever dated.
When you walk, all the eyes will be gazing on you.
You have the look, you have the power.
You have everything that you want, except love and warmth.
Isn't that the reason how you and I began?
Tall and well dressed.
The familiar smell.
Your kisses.
All the warmth you've given me, too hard to be forgotten.
But then, because of your intolerance and my arrogance.
I walk my own way, and you do so too.
My birthday is coming, so is yours.
Oh well, you're not mine, and I'm not yours anymore.
The sweet memories between you and I will always be kept.
Be kept as a secret.
No one will ever know what has happened between you and I.
I loved you once but that's all about it.
I don't think I'll ever get to see you again.
So now I shall really say Goodbye to you.
It wasn't my fault and it wasn't yours.
Sometime in April, you and I will grow older.




I'm longing to be loved.

I'm longing to be taken care of.

But I ain't a desperado, boys.

I ain't that easy.

Please me and I'm yours for a day.

Give me what I want and I'm yours for a week.

Love me and I'll be yours forever.

Tuesday, 10 April 2007

Tired.

I am tired.
I am dead tired.
Physically and mentally tired.
I've squeezed my brain throughout all the lessons today.
Although my birthday is coming, I don't feel like celebrating it.
I just want to spend my birthday by sleeping.
Now I know why people love sleeping.
Today, I'm having TUESDAY blues.
I got a headache, plus a flu.
Kept on sneezing from morning till now.
I hope that it'll be gone soon.
Cause I really hate the state of having flu.
Here's post for today.
I'm SERIOUSLY tired.



Undressed my soul,

I know you can do it.

I know you can see every part of me.

I do really need you at this point of my life.

When I feel like giving up.

Push me up whenever I am down.

I know you can do it.

Sunday, 8 April 2007

A pretty enjoyable Saturday.

I started my day with a smile, ended it up with a wider smile.
The sun was smiling too, widely, in the morning.
Although I had my maths tuition in the morning.
It never ruined my mood for the day.
I've been doing all random stuffs on impulse.
Caught a nice movie with my cousins.
Actually there's a friend who wanted to watch the same movie. LOL.
Guess that you're unlucky then.
Since I only finished my tuition by 1pm.
It rained in the afternoon.
But then, we still met up for coffee and books.
It's quite surprising.
There's no whipped cream for my coffee.
Is it just a coincidence or is it just that you've known me too well?
Hahaha. But then, as a good friend, you should have known it.
Anw, the movie I caught, the shooter, is a nice movie.
I'll give 4/5.
The other random thing happened.
I bumped into my friend's eye candy.
One of the hottest guy in the college.
He's hot. But then, not bulky enough.
I shall say that I'm quite demanding.
I think I shall stop here and continue doing my essays.
Love,
Rosey.




The face of all the world is changed, I think,
Since first I heard the footsteps of thy soul
Move still, oh, still, beside me, as they stole
Betwixt me and the dreadful outer brink
Of obvious death, where I, who thought to sink,
Was caught up into love, and taught the whole
Of life in a new rhythm. The cup of dole
God gave for baptism, I am fain to drink,
And praise its sweetness, Sweet, with thee anear.
The names of country, heaven, are changed away
For where thou art or shalt be, there or here;
And this . . . this lute and song . . . loved yesterday,
(The singing angels know) are only dear
Because thy name moves right in what they say.

Thursday, 5 April 2007

Sunny Thursday.

Today was a sunny day. The weather was so unpleasant that you would be wanting to go home as soon as possible.
Go home and enjoy the coziness of your room.
Unfortunately today I ended school at 4.
Before that I had PE lessons.
It was damn hot and I kept on complaining.
However I considered myself as being lucky cause I didn't have to run.
What a nice PE teacher he is.
Met up with my juniors and had dinner with them.
They're still the childish ones that I know.
None of them has changed.
When I reached home today, my room was in a state of chaos.
Thanks to my 'dear' roomie.
She even switched off my laptop without my permission.
WHAT THE HELL.
She's just a bitch.
I've given her 3 chances and thats it.
She's just so irritating.
Even though she's a SCHOLAR?
What? I couldn't even believe it the first time I knew her.
But I admitted that she had that nerd look.
I had enough of her.
Someone mentioned about homework to me just now.
Due to the so called long weekend, all the teachers just give us homework?
They're just helping us, I know.
But for certain subjects, it was damn hellish, I mean the amount.
Shall not rant any further.
As I need my sleep.
-Switched off the lights, cut off the telephone,
prevent the bitch from barking.-
-Sleeping peacefully-[as soon as I finished blogging] LOL.





I do appreciate red roses.

Even though I have never asked for it, it doesn't mean that I don't love it.

I love poems, write me one,

to show how much do you love me.

If you know how to please me, I am yours.

Tuesday, 3 April 2007

Rosey's dream.

Dream? This five-letter-word is such a powerful word.
Because of having a dream, you visualize what you want.
By visualizing, you will start to work on to achieving what you want.
I have a dream that one day, I will be a successful woman.
I have a dream that one day, I will be a famous socialite.
I have a lot of dreams.
Some of them are almost impossible to be real.
However, dreams are just dreams if you never work on it.
Since some dreams are just too good to be true.
I bet many people out there are dreaming of living like a king.
Living in a manor, by the sea side.
Under the care of butlers.
Driving the latest coupe.
Wearing designers' clothing.
And etc.
So, dream more and you'll achieve more. :P

My life is full of dreams, wishes, and hopes.

But still I'm feeling empty sometimes.

Empty and cold.

Monday, 2 April 2007

First post of the month.

It's April. One of the most important month of the year.
As I will be celebrating my birthday.
My eighteenth birthday this year.
However, I feel a bit depressed too.
Someday in April, is also a birthday of,
someone that I used to treasure a lot.
He has gone to somewhere he is supposed to be.
He has left.
He will never be back.
I've known it from the first time I said 'Hello' to him.
I knew that I'd say goodbye one day.
And I did really say it.
The diamond ring that was once clung to my middle finger,
was gone.
I've buried it will all the letters and gifts that he ever sent me.
I think I shall let go of the past.
Since he'll never be back and,
since I don't love him anymore.
My birthday is coming.
Who will be the 1st one to wish me a happy birthday?
What will be the greatest gift for me?
I just hope that I'll make the wisest wish on my birthday.

Even though I have everything I want, I feel incomplete.

I want to have someone I can hold on to.

I feel so insecure.

I just want to have someone by my side.

Someone who will give me the warmth that I need.

I just feel so empty.